Saturday, 8 May 2010


It's amazing how much backward progress I've made since the beginning of the year. It seems that every time I step onto the scale, the number's higher. I'm so fat.

Therefore, I'm staying upstairs in my room today until I go out later with a couple of friends and my bf. We're going for a walk around town for a few hours, just strolling and chatting etc.

Fuck food.


Twigs Can Fly said...

I agree, food can die.

But just because you've made some backwards progress, doesn't mean you can't turn it around (:

I still admire you, big time.


heartbrokenXbella said...

good i am sooo fat im 5'2' and 135 lbs and i am starting my fast tomrrow any incuraging thoughts ladies?

Elle said...

I know the feeling. Every time I take one step forward, it seems like I then take two steps back (weight wise). Food=evil. Fuck it.

Hope things are going better for youu.



Mia said...

I also agree on the whole fuck food tangent!!
And I just want to say that I just found your blog, and have been reading all of your past posts. I am so inspired by you!!
And I know you can get through your backward progress.
Stay strong!!

Bee said...

hello! i stumbled upon your blog and just wanted to say hello. hope you don't mind if i link you. bye! :)

Anonymous said...

I feel the same most times. But I try to hang on. I've been on this and that diets, I've been on fasts, name it.
Maybe I've had it. Maybe I've given up. Now I just try to walk it off, walk not for any weight loss, but just walk to calm my nerves, walk to clear my mind. I feel better, and funny, I look better.
You'll get through it. Be strong.
Mary anorexia protein

beautiful dreamer said...

Hey hon, keep at it. Food does suck. It was put on this planet to distinguish the weak and pathetic from the strong and beautiful. I am somewhat new to anorexia but am completely serious about it so if you ever want to talk or if you have any tips visit my blog.

Fat Bastard said...


Why not set a goal to maintain a low but healthy weight?

Need reverse thinspo? Check out Bigger Fatter Blog!


Cool Picture Gallery said...

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Anonymous said...

Hi there,

I’m a journalist in London and read your blog online. I’m doing a story about pro-ana websites and was hoping you might be prepared to do an interview over the phone with me about it.
I’d be very grateful if you could get back to me and let me know. My email address is

Many thanks,


Sky Lyricist said...

I know you haven't posted in 7 months, and that you have your own reasons for not posting, but I want you to know that you're blog is amazing, and inspirational to me.

Email me if you read this?



Sky Lyricist said...

forgot to leave my email~!

it would be great to hear from you,

Anonymous said...

I noticed you get this a lot, but you're my inspiration. Even when things go absolutely horribly wrong you don't give up. I wish I could be like you and just keep going forward. You are going to one of the few who make it and be perfectly skinny.
Best wishes,

Anonymous said...

She hasn't posted in a long time, does anyone know what happened to her, is she okay? Alive? x

Anonymous said...

Sorry this is anon, but I don't have an account and I don't feel like making one. My name is Audrey, if it helps.

I just read your entire blog start to finish, and I couldn't believe how much shit you went through. I'm so sorry you had to suffer like that. My heart breaks for you and I swear if you lived closer to me, would give you the biggest hug ever because you deserve it. I can only speak for myself but all I want is for you to be happy. I can't make you eat or stop cutting, so I am just hoping that you find happiness. Whether it is through eating again, being open with Andrew, starving (I don't approve, but I won't judge if it makes you truly happy), or something else entirely, I really don't care. But please, please, PLEASE don't give up on your self.

I'm not anorexic so I can't begin to fathom the pain you have gone through. However, if you need someone to give you hope, I will always be there. If you are there, please just let me know you are alive and email me at We don't have to keep up a correspondence; I nearly want to know that you are still alive.

I wish you the best of luck with the rest of you life.


Anonymous said...

please help me! im tired of looking at my mirror and seeing me fat! please add me MSM: pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee <3 thx

Anonymous said...

Hi i'm new here. :)
Being pro ana is hardd. But i'm sick of being the fattest cheerleader. I'm 5'3 and 136 lbs. Food is a damn fucking horrid thing and i agree that it needs to fucking die. I need help with a new diet, can anyone help me on tips or anything helpful?

Anonymous said...

Hey there :) I stumbled across ur blog and all I can say is wow... U know I've gone through most of this and honestly u inspire me and handle it soooo much better than I do... I see u haven't posted in quite a while, if u do get this comment please do email me... I would love to chat... Tnx for ur inspiration and motivation :) love a fellow wisher of perfection xxx p.s. My email: