Bored but empty :)

It's six in the evening, and I've left my room once all day, to go to the bathroom. I'm bored out of my skull, sort of wish I was seeing my boy today. I don't even know why I'm not tbh.

But on the plus side, my mam just stuck her head round my door and asked if I fancied halfing a pepperoni pizza and chips with her later - erm no. I just kept repeatedly shaking my head until she left me alone. I won't eat, I refuse.

I'm going downstairs for seven though, there's a film on telly I want to watch and the living room's the only room with the cinema surround sound. I hope she doesn't stay to watch it with me, I can see my stomach rumbling and her taking that opportunity to shove sickening amounts of food down my throat. I'll have a cup of tea about halfway through if I start craving things.

And for about three hours now, I've had my pro-ana playlist on repeat. Really helping. I have about three quarters of an hour to kill before the film, I think I'll turn my iPod off and sit and read Wintergirls. I love that book unreal amounts, and one day I will be Lia. I will step on the scales and read a double-digit number, and I will never have known happiness like it. I want a thinking session tonight, just sitting in my room, alone, in the dark, thinking.

I'm in a strange mood.
x