Tuesday, 6 April 2010

I fail at life.

Just over 1000 calories today. Fast tomorrow, go go go.

Mam's at work again tomorrow for the rest of the week, time for getting back into the routine of hiding food under my bed so it looks like I've eaten it.

I came so very close to telling my boyfriend about my self harm last night, but at the last minute I chickened out and said nothing. I can tell he'll have found out by the end of the holidays, I just know.

I'm scared, so scared of telling him. He already knows I'm messed up from when I told him I was bulimic, I'm terrified that self harm will push him over the edge to go and tell someone. What will I do, what can I do?

Does anyone have any experience with telling someone that they've self harmed? I need help, so badly :(

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i havent told anyone that ive slef harmed myself,but my friend has been cutting herself. and when she first told me,i was almost driven to tears,just knowing that any day now i could lose her. i know that telling people what youve done is a hard thing to do so your boyfriend will know that it toook you a lot of courage to do so. i hope he understands and good luck.
best wishes,
lynn

M-illie said...

I cant say i have experience with telling people about self harming because i dont self harm. However about telling people about eating disorders you can probably expect the same reaction. I told my friend that i once made myself sick and she flipped! I think maybe with the self harm its better to keep it to yourself unless you want to recover. I know some people do want to recover but do you? This will probably lead to other people finding out about your eating disorder aswell and do you want people to know about that? If you boyfriend wants whats best for you then im guessing hes gonna try and get you help, but do you want help? Id consider this before you go telling everyone, i know my friend is constantly checking on what im eating now, i hope you make the right desicion, check out my blog if you want, thinking thin as always, stay strong x