Friday, 16 April 2010


C: Thank you so much for such an insightful comment; although I will admit, it was so insightful that I can't really use it. I'm not good with being able to control the types of foods I can eat because I still live with my mam - seeing as I'm too young to live on my own. Therefore, I have to make do with what I can, hence why I try my hardest to control the calories that go into my body, and I'm pretty much forced to pay less attention to where they come from. I think this is why when I do restrict when eating, my calorie count is so low, because I try to only eat better foods (which in turn have lower calorie counts). I also think this is why - as well as my fierce quest for thinness - I try to resort to not eating when I'm not restricting. But thanks again for your very informative comment!

fuckED: No, I don't live with my boyfriend, we've only been going out about a month, and he only recently became old enough to actually live independently - I'm still too young, hahaha. I also decided not to tell him about relapsing into my bulimic ways as I'm also trying to stick to Ana, and Mia is only going to be what I turn to whenever I eat and feel guilty; unfortunately, the problem with that is that I feel guilty whenever I eat, so I'm just trying to not eat anything at all because I feel more guilty on top of eating if I purge, because I told those three people I'd stopped. All my scars from self-harm are on either my hips or my thighs, so I can probably keep it hidden until me and my bf start doing more stuff. But if/when it gets to the point when we're having sex etc., then I doubt I'll be able to hide it from him anymore, and I'll have to come clean. I am trying very hard to convince everyone I'm fine, although my bf wants me to see a doctor about my problems (I also think I might be bipolar as well as having the obvious ED), however, I'm standing firm and I refuse to see a doctor. That will just complicate things further. Thank you for the comment as well :)

Twigs Can Fly: I decided not to tell him about relapsing, because he said if I did he would want me to see a doctor or tell someone, and I refuse to do either of those things. I do not want any help, therefore seeking it would be pointless. I couldn't go to the doctor about the blood (if it even was blood), because I'm a minor and I'm fairly sure that means the doctor would be obliged to tell my mam - I can't afford to let that happen. And thank you for the supportive comment, I am indeed trying to live for the better days :)

M-illie: Thank you for awarding me for a Sunshine award, I'm glad that people appreciate and enjoy reading my blog; it makes me happy that I chose to start one in the first place :)

Imperfections: I'm looking forward to my first goal hahaha, despite it currently being a long way off. I'm going to keep working though, so thanks for your support! :)

Sun-Lit~: Thank you to you as well, for also awarding me for a Sunshine award! I'm happy that you think my blog is interesting, balanced, and easy to relate to! And yeah, I was looking around in all the aisles, and I felt so unsafe with all that food there, like I was confused about what to do when I was there. It was a very surreal experience, like I didn't belong there. But thanks for your comment, it was appreciated :)


I will get around to awarding my own choices for the Sunshine Award in my next post, because at the minute I just can't decide, hahaha.

Think thin,