Wednesday, 4 November 2009


That is my calorie intake for today, and I will eat no more.

I know I've kind of been neglecting my blog and my commenting on other people's blogs, but I'm gonna try and get back into the swing of things ASAP. Halloween wasn't that bad surprisingly. I absolutely detested what I looked like so no pictures of me were taken, but other than that it wasn't a bad night even food-wise.

Although there was this girl there - I think she's my cousin - and I swear, she was just so skinny I wanted to cry - I actually almost did. I turned and said to my mam, "She has succeeded in making me feel very fat". My mam told me I was stupid and I had a lovely figure - uh-huh, yeah right - and then promptly told my grandma what I said. She told me that this other girl was 'too skinny' and that I'm beautiful the way I am. Errr, I am not. She probably just said that because she's been worried about me developing an eating disorder for about a year now.

I'm sorry that I think 'too skinny' is beautiful.
I'm sorry that nothing you say will change my mind.
I'm sorry that I'm doing what I can to get there.
And I'm sorry that it's not my goddamn choice.

New fast starting tomorrow; zero calories is my target, but if I have calories it will most likely be orange juice. No solid food until further notice. I'm home alone all this weekend so that will make it easier, and also means I have an opportunity to weigh myself for the first time in over a month - I'm totally dreading it, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm back up to 143. I'll post with the results sometime this weekend, and I think I'm going to join Competition to Lose to help motivate me.

I'd also just like to say thanks to everyone who comments and follows my blog, you are appreciated :)

Staying strong, thinking thin,