Monday, 5 October 2009


The weekend just gone is possibly the closest I've come to being depressed. I ended up not going out on the Sunday for reasons I won't bore you with, and Saturday was pretty much a disaster. Things are getting sorted sometime this week with L though, so that's not as much of an issue anymore.

I lasted a week. One fucking week. I made it seven days without putting one solid piece of food in my mouth. Then I hit Sunday and it was like a fucking trainwreck. I started off with one tortilla. Hey, that's fine, only hundred calories will not make you look like a whale. But then another followed, and then came the yogurt. And then, just after I felt like I was regaining control, my mam put down a plate of chips in front of me and sat down to eat her dinner too. Shit, she's not leaving; I have no choice but to eat this. Holy crap, the calories...

When I was done, and dear mother was satisfied, I went upstairs. I waited about half an hour and then almost ran to the bathroom. Toothbrush. Toilet. Empty. I felt so unable to do anything else, so guilty for sabotaging my fast. I've started again today. No food. I have had some calories today, but only juice, which is still good for fasting, but tomorrow I'm dropping that too, and having no more tonight. Water and citrus green tea will be my two new best friends.

Anyway, I've been to the doctor's tonight for a vaccine, and to my utter horror she asked to weigh me and see how tall I was. When I previously weighed myself at 143lbs, I wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing because I knew that could affect your weight, obviously. Tonight, I was not about to strip bare in front of some woman I didn't know, so I got on the scales wearing a blouse, a skirt, tights and shoes. I nearly fainted when I saw the result.

132lbs. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO POUNDS. I technically don't have much reason to be so ecstatic that I've (apparently) lost 11lbs, because the scales I used when I got 143 are, in all honesty, quite old. But still, I am going to convince myself that I've lost 11lbs in just over a week because then I'll feel I can do it again and possibly even better this time. Oh, thinspo, how I have missed you...

So, this wonderful news means I have not only achieved, but done better than my first goal weight, which was 135! It was originally quite a large drop to my next GW of 114, so I've added a sort of inbetweener weight of 125. I need to drop 7lbs as fast as possible. Also, my height for anyone who's interested is 5"5.

Well, I think that's everything for tonight then. Except, the offer for a UK texting partner is still open - I can't do this alone forever!

Staying strong, thinking thin,


Lillie said...

old post, i know, but i've only just started readin your blog and im going through all the old posts, still open to that texting partner? im in the uk.

Tiffany Priscilla said...

hey, I just saw your blog. can I have your email? I live so far away, in south east asia. I want to have encouragement to lose weight as my friends are no help. please reply :)