Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Optimism, how I love you so.

Last night was bad. Very, very bad. B-A-D. I can't even bear to put this morning's weight because I'm so ashamed. I will get back on track though, and I will make those pounds DISAPPEAR.

Liquid fast today and tomorrow, and because my mam forgot to buy Slim-A-Soup - or even Cup-A-Soup - that means I'm officially living off cups of tea for at least the next 36 hours. That takes me up to midnight on Christmas Eve, then I follow my plan for Christmas Day - less than 500, you can do it! - then fastfastFAST until New Year's.

You know that feeling when starving suddenly feels like the easiest thing in the world? I have that feeling right now, and I'm going to make good use of it!

(Wow, I'm not usually this optimistic. Must be the festive cheer finally catching me up!)

When I go back to school, I want the general reaction to be, 'Wow, you've lost so much weight!'

The worried glances, the horrified stares, the whispers behind the hands. I want it all, because that means I'm doing this right, and I'm doing it well.

I think the next time I'll be seeing my friends will be in 2010 - wow, that sounds weird - and it will be a whole new me. While everyone else is complaining that they think they've put on weight over the holidays, I will sit there and smile secretly that while they've been gaining, I've been losing. And it will be fantastic, and wonderful and the knowledge will be so wonderously sweet that I won't miss all the chocolates and sweets I passed up to get there.

Because I will be lighter.